back on the block, really nothing but talk.

Living away from home 2/3 of the year is a really strange experience. What it creates, primarily is the total absence of anything. I mean by this, that I have no sense of existing in any particular place or time, at all. It sort of makes me feel like my existence is an elaborate fake. Not to say that this is a particularly unique thought. I mean, people have been having existential crisis for ages, immortalized forever in "The Matrix". Let me stress however, that I am not having a "Neo" moment here. If the world is run by robots, I'm pretty okay to if they just keep on keepin' on. I suppose I'm just really not that motivated of a person. Anyway, the point I'm making (in a very roundabout way) is just that it's like being shuffled from two very different universes (universi?), and it's sometimes a bit uncomfortable.
The first universe (home) is solid, and tangable and "real", but all that aside, it's not always terribly 'good'. That's not a slur on my family at all, my parents are awesome and supportive and all that good stuff, it's more of a commentary on everything else. This is not my state, or my city, these are not my 'people'...maybe they could eventually become that to me, but as it stands: I don't particularly belong where I'm at, in, what we will temporarly call "Universe A"
The second universe (school) is shifting, changing, intangible and in many ways not at all "real". The people at school will eventually graduate, some people will even transfer, drop out, or (unforunately) be kicked out. Most importantly however, I will eventually graduate, and leave. Despite this sort of non existance that this universe --Universe B-- inhabits, it's much more "my" place, in a way that Universe A can't seem to manage.
Unfortunately, it also has the enormous draw back of being somewhere completely transient.
So, in my case, it seems like my "stable" place is not the same as my "at home" place.
Life, it seems to me, is a long and occasionally impossible search for "home".
And, that is all I have to say on the subject.